Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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