I wish I could teleport
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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