Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
