I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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