Me too!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
