This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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