So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
