I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Panties = found
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