What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
