One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
