i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
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