I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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