What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
