he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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