Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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