doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
