I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
