There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You took a bar mat shot.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So squirting runs in the family.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
