i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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