I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You can't special order awesome
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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