I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
