I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
