she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
