Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
