Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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