I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
