it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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