At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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