I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
