With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
A bitchslap is in order.
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