direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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