Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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