About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
