I just cut my nipple shaving
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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