You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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