she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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