you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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