I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
