my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
