That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
