the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
