she is the kim kardashian of front butts
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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