yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
