i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
