ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
