I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
