i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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