Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
