threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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