I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
